He wakes up like it’s any other morning, only today brings a mixed bag of feelings for what is ahead. He’s worked hard the entire off-season, yet today his nerves are starting to get to him. After pacing back and forth in his room for several minutes, he goes downstairs to eat breakfast. He sits down to dive into his meal, but then he realizes that he shouldn’t eat too much, as it might hamper his performance. He decides to only drink coffee that it will hopefully help him make the right decisions when it’s time. He rushes out the door and heads to the big event, reviewing his notes one last time along the way.
As he arrives, he shakes hands with his teammates and shares a few laughs. The laughs are short and fake as he knows what is about to come. He begins to perspire through his shirt and he starts to wish he had rented a cabin with his family for the weekend instead of coming, but here his is and the time has come. He finds a room to get ready in. He begins to hear the roar from the crowd outside the building. His leaguesmate comes in and hands him his uniform for the big day. As he looks at the uniform he is overcome with emotions, and he doesn’t know what to say.
He begins to get dressed and the roar of the people outside gets louder and louder. The uniform is a little tighter than he is used to, but he is strangely comfortable with it. He is finally ready, and takes the long lonely walk down the hall, where he can now hear everyone yelling his name. He opens the door and the crowd erupts! Before his eyes he sees his fantasy league-mates sitting in lawn chairs, laughing at him, but they are not alone! Old women out for a walk stop to stare. The neighbors come over to take pictures, and a car full of kids passing by point and laugh. For a moment time stops, and this seems like it will never end for him. Yet he knows why he is in his position and understands it’s a fantasy tradition he needs to fight through.
So, what is it that everyone is so excited to see? A grown man standing before a fantasy draft board taped to the house. This man is dressed like a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader, as a consequence of finishing last in fantasy football the year before! This is the punishment he’d earned through believing bad draft hype, being lazy on the waiver wire, and alienated potential trade partners by overvaluing his own players
This is one of the many stories of our league’s loser of the Toilet Bowl, and all the glory that comes along with it! If you finish last in our league, the champ gets to pick out your outfit for the draft AND you’re in charge of putting the stickers up on the draft board for the whole league! There are no rules, but ODDS are, it will be very short, revealing, and probably for the opposite sex. 😊
If your league doesn’t have punishments for last place, I suggest you change that or find a new one! If they do, let us help you avoid losses and wear your own clothes at the draft! Follow along throughout the season as weekly podcasts are on the way!